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Note: This appears to be the journal of a victim while she was in an eating disorder recovery program. There are pages of notes from staff and other patients. For ease of reading, I put all of the journal entries in sequential order, and the notes from staff and other patients are after the journal pages. The individual EFTA number is listed on each page.

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{Page 3 - EFTA02731262}
May 15, 2012
So I am told that writing each week while I am bad at that
will help me to deal with the trauma that has gotten me here
I saw another girl here writing in her journal like this and she
said it was to overcome her perfectionism so I decided to try it too.
I don’t think I like it but I am going to make the goal of writing at
least twice a week, maybe more but I always say that and never do.
But since it’s for trauma, no one has to see it. But it will be a goal to
try to make a connection with one staff member and tell them
everything I wish I could say I feel like going to [REDACTED] helped
since I told him but that is just more trauma…and what is being
absolved mean anyway? I didn’t do the bad things. At the end of
my stay, I’m going to have all the staff sign this book the right
way up with the person I’m most able to talk to be first. That way
all my progress from now until the end will be clear. Ugh, I hate
writing in pencil but that was all I could find and now it will be
like this forever for consistancy [sic]. Maybe I can work on that and
try to switch to pen, but I doubt it. My handwriting sucks with
this pencil I saw the other girl putting stuff we did in her book so
I’m going to do the same. I’m going to try to make mine a bit neater
but I think some handouts are too big…but maybe I can cut them so
they won’t stick out. Okay so my first few days are past so I’m going
to try to be open even though it hurts. First things first, I miss the
boys so much but I know how lucky I am to have this chance. I am
still in disbelief it worked and [REDACTED] was able to actually get
the insurance to cover residential. She actually cried and said I needed

{Page 5 - EFTA02731264}
May 15, 2012
to get on the plane and go, go, go and do my best to make it
count since she’s never seen it approved, so I know being away from
them is hard, but I’m hoping [REDACTED] won’t remember me being gone.
At first when I heard it was approved, I thought I’d be going to Arizona
but when they said [REDACTED] was best fit because I’m able to work with
[REDACTED]. I wanted to scream and cry because I
haven’t been back to Florida since my last time with Ghislaine and
Jeffrey and so that was so scary and I didn’t want to have a man
therapist, even if he does know about [REDACTED] I won’t be able to talk to
him, even though it turns out that he is super nice and understands me.
The flight wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I felt weird
to be on a plane with so many other people since I was always on
private planes but I think I liked it better more safe. As a side note I
don’t know why people make fun of Spirit airlines because they were
they [sic] only ones who were soooo nice about accommodating autism. They
made sure to seat me in the front row and had a flight attendant stay
with me the entire time. All the other airlines said no, I had to have
a grown up but Spirit did everything possible. The flight attendant, I
wish I got her name, she could tell I was scared, so first she introduced
me to the pilot and I kept looking around to make sure it wasn’t one of
Jeffrey’s pilots that would be copilot but it wasn’t. During the flight she
would make sure I was okay and kept giving me free snacks and drinks
and when I got really scared as we were getting closer she looked at
fun magazines with me. I started getting really scared once we landed
because I had to meet a driver and I was terrified that maybe this
was a set-up and when I got off the plane I’d see Mr. Juan or maybe

{Page 7 - EFTA02731266}
May 15, 2012
even Ghislaine but the flight attendant didn’t make me go alone!
She walked with me to get my things and then helped me to find the
driver and checked to make sure he knew where he was taking me. It
was soooo nice, so safe and made me feel a little better. I asked if
she would be the one to go back with me in a couple months but she
said probably not. I wish I could send her a thank you card but Spirit
doesn’t deserve so much hate because they did everything that all the
big planes wouldn’t. The drive was super scary. The man was nice but
the car was too much like Ghislaine’s. Why do so many people drive black
cars in Florida with windows that seem so dark. Maybe the windows are
for the sun but an entire black car? With leather? In this heat? I don’t
understand. And he was nice but it was hard because I was trying to
stop the memories and I started to have internal panic as I was looking
out the windows because it looks so much like we were heading right
to Jeffrey’s house and I really started to think I’d been set up and we’d
soon see his stupid, gross, disgusting pink “mansion” at any time and I
don’t know if I am even that close to there but the roads felt the same
because everything is so flat here. He must think I’m such a snob or
brat because he would try to talk on the way, I think to try to make
me more comfortable but I couldn’t manage because I was becoming more
and more convinced he was kidnapping me and I would have to face
Jeffrey again after leaving how I did so all I could make out was
“yes” “no” “thank you” and some “uh huhs” so he probably thinks
I’m so rude. It ended up being fine but it was super hard to keep it
together. The campus is beautiful but the pool reminds me too much
of bad things so I won’t be going to that. It has definitely changed

{Page 9 - EFTA02731268}
May 15, 2012
a lot since they filmed the documentary “Thin” so maybe they got
money from that to make it so pretty. I was so relieved to know I
didn’t get [REDACTED] as my nutritionist because she is soooo scary. She was
so mean in [REDACTED] and I saw her still here but she only works
with patients occasionally if they’re really struggling or something. I am
on the blue team. I don’t really understand the difference between the
teams but so far I really like everyone. The staff say I am the first [REDACTED]
patient and I’m going to teach them, too. They’re so understanding and all
the girls…well all but maybe two are super nice and they know I’m
autistic and they all try to make me feel like I belong. I have a feeling
I will become close with [REDACTED] because she’s super nice. And [REDACTED] is really
nice but I still wish I would have gotten a girl therapist because I know I
won’t be able to talk about any of this trauma. I don’t like to go to the
groups outside of the healing garden or the other building because I get
so much panic that I think Jeffrey or Ghislaine will just pop up. I went to
the art building which has 2 floors so I went to the top floor to see if I
could see Maralago or the top of his gross house but I don’t think I’d
be able to see because all the houses around here look like the ones from
the Golden Girls show! Why are the roofs all wonky? The [sic] forgot about the
weird random downpours and thunder then sunshine again. And all the
strange reptiles. No one can convince me they aren’t modern dinosaurs.
Well, I’ve written a lot so will write more soon but it’s lights out so
no more times. I really miss [REDACTED] but I know it’s really
important to focus on treatment <3 <3 <3

{Page 15 - EFTA02731274}
May 25, 2012
I knew I wasn’t going to be very good at this journaling thing since
I planned to write at least twice a week and it’s been 10 days! [REDACTED]
said I can’t be too hard on myself because it’s a big adjustment to
be here. I can’t do everything perfect he says but it feels wrong. I
haven’t been able to really speak all that much to him and I think my
lack of talking and eye contact is bothersome. Next time we meet he
thinks he has an idea about how to make eye contact easier but…I don’t
think anything will work. Today he implemented a sticker system which
I LOVE! Today I got an orange glittery owl! It made me to happy
even though I am sort of scared of all birds but these stickers are so
cute! When he gave me it, I asked for him to put it in the fun book
and sign it, which he did, and then when he gave it back to me, I like
the idiot I am did happy claps and quickly realized what I was doing
and he said I immediately had a change in body language and looked
distant and sad and asked why something happy made me so sad and
I wanted to tell him how even being here is traumatic and that I’m so
scared that Jeffrey is around every corner but then I remember the
rules. I remember the promise I made but all that came out was that it
was sad because someone I spent a lot of time with would do happy claps
and they lived close to here but I couldn’t say anything else. I’m so
fucked up being down here again. But no words would come. But I told
him I was writing about it and that I started to confide a bit in [REDACTED]
[REDACTED] and my friend [REDACTED]. He seemed proud. I really like [REDACTED]
[REDACTED] but I do not like
[REDACTED] and this other counselor who looks like a cross between
[REDACTED] so just on looks alone I do not care for her.

{Page 17 - EFTA02731276}
May 25, 2012
Plus she’s so rude. She is only here every once in awhile but
she gets so stupidly angry with [REDACTED] and I and says we are a
disruption and act like we are 5 together so I won’t even bother to
learn her stupid name but I will never talk to her. Sorry you don’t
have a best friend who you can be yourself with but don’t take it
out of us! WTF! [REDACTED] and I have become the most best friends ever
and she’s definitely my soul sister but I know I can’t really give her
details of my trauma because she’s so much younger chronologically than
I am and I know it would be far too much. But I’ve also gotten super close
with [REDACTED] and I’ve slowly started to tell her what happened with
Jeffrey and Ghislaine and why night time is especially hard here. She’s
so sweet and just listens, even with all my weird pauses but there
are times I can tell that she doesn’t really think Ghislaine is very good
but she doesn’t want to upset me. She seems to be sooo much older than
me because she seems wise beyond her years but she’s also very, very sad.
She has tried to kill herself several times and I think she views her [REDACTED] as
a passive suicide so I worry all the time that I’m putting too much on
her. I’m still not over level 0 and I may actually be at level -1 and so
she stays with me in the dayroom even though she can go back to her
room any time. I know talking with her is safe, so I am being somewhat
successful in that goal because I’ve told her many things as well as Mrs.
[REDACTED] some things but I cannot tell her the names because she’s staff and
I’m sure would have to tell someone and that is not something that can
happen. I think I need to get more clarification with [REDACTED] about the rules
and what state must report, especially since I’m in Florida. I want to be
able to tell [REDACTED] every single thing but I get so worried given her past

{Page 23 - EFTA02731282}
June 5, 2012
[REDACTED]
She asked me if I could tell her the secret of my handwriting and all
I could think of was how crappy it looks in here because I started using
pencil. Why can’t I just use pen? Why does everything have to be uniform?
I wish I could rip all these pages out and rewrite them nicely but [REDACTED]
says I can’t. Not everything has to be perfect and definitely not a book
that no one will ever see. I got two more stickers in my fun book from
[REDACTED] and that makes me so proud! That sounds really pathetic…But I am
learning to trust him more and more even though he’s a man. I’m still
terrified that Jeffrey will walk through the door at any moment but now
that I’ve been here for almost a month, things have become routine, which
I’m sooo grateful for. He’s decided that we don’t have to do family therapy
anymore because he said he was able to see the games my birth mother
plays and the time would be better spent with another individual session and
I cannot even begin to express how happy I was that he was able to see
beyond her fakeness and not make me have to sit through such crap
anymore. She has always controlled the narrative and he was happy to
give me some of that control back. He has also decided to tape a picture
of a cute dog above his head and lower it each session until I’m able to
[REDACTED]

{Page 29 - EFTA02731288}
June 12, 2012
[REDACTED]
it’s okay to sometimes break certain rules but I don’t think that’s exactly
right. Today was NOT a very good day. [REDACTED] and her little group of
friends are so MEAN!!! And then they’re fake! And it’s beyond triggering
because I swear maybe it’s a Florida thing but [REDACTED] is like a miniature
diva, [REDACTED] (despite her allowing me to use her prismacolor markers) is
mean and [REDACTED] is fake! The stupid trio. I feel like I’m trapped here
with these girls, which I guess you’d expect having so many girls living together - Ugh!!
But it’s awful!! [REDACTED] NEVER stops bragging about her stupid beauty pagents [sic]
and that she was on TV, except she was literally just a friend on Teen Mom for
like 30 seconds! And it’s all she talks about. [REDACTED] is just mean and I never
want to be in the room with her, prismacolors or not and I was SO wrong
about [REDACTED]. She isn’t nearly as kind as I thought she was and [REDACTED] doesn’t
understand why it’s so triggering and I can’t tell him. [REDACTED] reminds me so
much of [REDACTED] but not as bad. At least she’s teaching me to write things
in Japanese rather than teaching me how to do grown up things. Today she
taught me - {Japanese text} - which looks like nothing but she says it says
Snorlax, but how do I even check? Ha, maybe it’s a bad word but she says
it isn’t. She has these super thin pens to do her homework in and I love them!
She trusted me with the secret she felt she needed to confess and YIKES!
She told me she has a problem with pathological lying and asked how I
felt about that. WTF?!?! I didn’t know what to say because I cannot lie
but I don’t want her to feel bad so it was an impossible situation. I just

{Page 31 - EFTA02731290}
June 12, 2012
sort of smiled and said if she ever wants to talk about it more that
I was here to listen but now that I think about everything, how do you
know when she’s telling the truth and when it’s a lie? She says she lost
tons of people in the earthquake in Japan but now I’m like wondering if
that’s true? I’ve never met someone who has that but I think Jon[?] will be
proud of how I handled it. He asked me today if I’d been writing about
my trauma but I haven’t really so I decided I would do that tonight since
they’ve been noticing an increase in PTSD episodes and stimming. I know it’s
because of the new trio that has formed. I talked to [REDACTED] this evening and
I pretty much told her everything except for the [REDACTED]. I can’t
write the other word and she seemed so upset by everything that I felt
it was something that didn’t need to be said. I know she is safe but she kept
asking me if I understood that nothing that Ghislaine did was “normal in
any family setting” but I tried to explain to her that she didn’t understand.
I have a feeling that she doesn’t believe that Ghislaine didn’t know about
anyone else but Jeffrey. She would try to speak really gently and calmly
that it doesn’t make sense for her to be so close and not know, especially
since so many men were up from the city and the fact that I met her
and Jeffrey up near the city but I started getting really, really super
distressed and thank goodness [REDACTED] was there and started to count
my fingers because I couldn’t breathe. I genuinely felt I was dying of a
heart attack (which the nurse said it was a panic attack and not a heart
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]

{Page 33 - EFTA02731292}
June 12, 2012
many [REDACTED] out there. If I’ve only met one in my entire life then it
has to be a rare thing I think…I hope. I told her that I would consider
telling [REDACTED] who has officially become my most favorite counselor
here. But I told her I may not be able to tell her the names because of my
promise and how I think even [REDACTED] would have to tell. She was super
proud of me but now I’m worried she’s okay. Maybe I should have staff go
check on her just in case since she gets to be upstairs. At this point because
[REDACTED] is still “new” to much of the staff, I’m certain I will NEVER get
to be upstairs or even get off level 0! Thank goodness for [REDACTED] because
she and [REDACTED] both stay in the dayroom with me, especially if [REDACTED]
isn’t around. Everyone calls [REDACTED] and I “the twins” now since we
get ready together every morning and do our hair exactly alike and try
to match our outfits together. We listen to LMFAO “Sexy and I know it”
every single morning and have a dance party! It is the best thing in the
world and to think one day mornings won’t be like this anymore sort of
hurts my heart. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle! Yeah yeah!! Often times other
girls will hear and come in and join and it’s so much fun but we’ve all
gotten into trouble for not being to breakfast on time. Which I forgot!
OMG! so because of my [REDACTED] they were letting
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED] Are you freaking
kidding me. So obviously I could tell because of my clothes that I was
[REDACTED] so they transferred me to [REDACTED]
The one that has a single look that could probably kill you and I was
like OFC this would happen because I wrote out how glad I was that
I didn’t have to work with her and now I do! But it turns out I have

{Page 35 - EFTA02731294}
June 12, 2012
nothing to even worry about because she’s sooo super cool! At first
I was so scared when I heard the news and when I had to meet with
her she could tell I was scared and she goes “You saw the [REDACTED]
didn’t you? That’s why you’re so nervous?” And that made me more
scared because she reminds me of [REDACTED] and she has the female version
accent of Jeffrey so I’m just a mess and nodded and she said in such a
funny way “do you know how many hours of footage they shot? and
then they edited it down to the clips and make me look like such a bitch!
But I promise I’m nice!” and we both laughed and laughed. I REALLY
like her! And she understands me and she’s making adjustments to my
meal plan so that the [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED] but I can’t focus on the
number and I’m still not allowed to see and I have to just trust her.
Does she have ANY idea how hard that is for me? I can’t just trust her
but what other choice do I have? [REDACTED] had the same idea about
maybe writing out a list or timeline of my trauma just to myself and
then maybe once I’m able to share it then it will be kept safe until that
time. I think I will try to do that but there isn’t the time tonight.
I called [REDACTED] wasn’t very interested in talking and was
too busy with some cartoon and [REDACTED] seemed fussy. I miss them so
much it sometimes hurts and despite set backs with trauma I think I’m
making progress with everything else! Well, except this stupid penal
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]

{Page 40 - EFTA02731299}
June 24, 2012
The last few weeks have been awful!! I know it’s only really been
like 12 days but what a 12 days it has been. So, that lady who I
REFUSE to even bother asking her name is awful and she just
hates [REDACTED] and I, especially together. I was wrong, she isn’t a mix of
[REDACTED] she’s a mix of [REDACTED] and a slightly
more nice version of [REDACTED]. That’s probably so wrong to even compare but
she’s so mean and just like angry. WTF is her problem. So, it first started
when we were doing some art project in the dayroom that she was
supervising. I can already tell by her stupid face and boxed blonde hair that
it’s going to be bad for [REDACTED] and I and pretty much immediately she yells
that [REDACTED] and I are “sitting too close together” and had us separate.
So then [REDACTED] said “aww don’t separate the twins” and for whatever
that triggers her soooooo much and she’s screaming to stop call us
the twins and everyone is just sitting there in shock WTF lady? So I
start to have the most inappropriate reaction which is typical with
[REDACTED] (something she’s obviously too dumb to know a single thing about
because she’s too selfish and self-centered to even learn the basics and I
guess she’s fine with being an immoral, self-centered horrible person but
you do you I guess) but I started laughing hysterically which made
everyone else laugh and she screams at the top of her lungs “ENOUGH.”
So everyone stops laughing and we continued our art. Well, [REDACTED] pulled
[REDACTED]

{Page 42 - EFTA02731301}
June 24, 2012
[REDACTED]
Hillary came and she talked to me but she said to not worry about it,
she just had an impression from report that we were very rowdy
together. So then that evening she was still there and when she
walked into the dayroom she immediately sees that [REDACTED] and I were
snuggled up in a big blanket and yells at us to “stop using the same
blanket” and move to different couches. WTF! So, I move to the couch
with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] starts to snuggle with me as a joke and this
lady says NOTHING even though she was looking at both of us. So
clearly she just doesn’t like [REDACTED] nor me, together or separate. I really
do NOT like her and think any sort of therapy place is NOT a good
fit for her, or maybe she needs to see someone about being such a
miserable, angry, bitter lady. That can’t be healthy to just be so angry
and mean all the time. GA-ROSS. And then a few days later it was
family weekend and obviously I’m not going to have visitors, but they
had called me down because [REDACTED] family had a gift for me. As I
am walking down the hallway, I hear a voice and I would have sworn
on anything that it was Jeffrey. It sounded IDENTICAL to him and I
was just devastated because I was certain he’d found me and I was
going to have to pay for what I did so I just completely freeze and
don’t move while frantically searching for somewhere to hide. I
quickly turn right instead of going to see what they said was

{Page 45 - EFTA02731332}
June 24, 2012
[REDACTED] family but I was convinced it was to meet Jeffrey so I tucked
myself in so tight under the table, cover my ears and the voice just
continues. The next thing I know I have staff and other girls who didn’t
have family surrounding me and I had cold ice in my hand. I was
searching desperately for Miss Erin but she wasn’t there and Ms. Meagan
was trying to convince me that it was safe to come out but I wouldn’t
until [REDACTED] finally came. Everyone was just staring at me and it was
so embarrassing and I asked [REDACTED] what happened but she said that it
wasn’t important to talk about. I remembered I was suppose [sic] to go see
[REDACTED] so I asked [REDACTED] to walk me to the door and it was a PARENT
with the same accent. I wanted to just scream. I was very quickly
okay though because [REDACTED] family brought me the most lovely
stuffed animal giraffe that plays a lullaby and he moves his head! I
was so happy and humbled they would think to get me something so
nice that I loved. So that was a positive that happened and I have
him right next to me and I never, ever want to let him go. I talked
more with [REDACTED] and told her about the terminations and she cried and
I wasn’t sure how to handle that because I wasn’t sure if she was
mad at me or sad but I hugged her and she hugged back so tight.
I don’t think that helped me though. They say getting things out
will help but that part only made me feel like a monster. My
birthday is coming up and everyone is preparing! They’ve never
[REDACTED]

{Page 51 - EFTA02731310}
July 6, 2012
My birthday has come and went and I think this has been
the best birthday ever! I got to talk to these boys of mine and
I miss them so much. Jon reminds me all the time though that
I can’t go into the real world with unrealistic ideas and says
I have to remember the reality that comes with two little boys
and that it isn’t easy and not always fun even when I’ve missed
them. It’s better to be prepared for the stress. Which I do always
keep in mind. The nurses allowed me to be the last one to wake
up and when they came to wake up for vitals, they sang
happy birthday and gave me cards! EVERYONE wore rainbow
and I wore a rainbow tutu! At every meal they did happy
birthday and when I went to the dayroom it was the most
AMAZING scene! Everyone came together after lights out and
decorated the dayroom for me! And everyone gave me cards
and even gifts! I didn’t have any words! I had to use my
last notebook to be able to put everything in. It was magical
and something I’ll never, ever forget. AND I DID IT! I made
intentional eye contact! UGH! It doesn’t have to be
perfect! But soooo annoyed. I need to slow down. I made my
first intentionally [sic] eye contact and so many people saw and cried.
And poor Jon was so upset because it wasn’t with him despite the
many weeks of the dog card, but it was with miss Erin, after I
had an absolute melt down over the meal room being changed.
[REDACTED]

{Page 55 - EFTA02731314}
July 7, 2012
I wanted to end yesterday happy, as I didn’t want to
ruin the magic of my birthday. I’ve been having staff
sign this book in the reverse order because I’m not sure
when my last day will be. To think my time here will be
ending soon is bittersweet. I am so excited to get home and
see the boys and Jen but I will miss everyone here so much.
Miss Erin gave me her beautiful bracelet and I don’t think
I’ll ever take it off. She’s the best and promised we would stay
in touch. I made her promise until 108 years old and we
pinky swore. I met my goal of connecting with a staff
member and I told her everything. She is safe and I know it
will be safe with her. She said as long as I’m wearing her
bracelet I am safe to now write the trauma in here. I
don’t need to be detailed but for me to process and understand.
She doesn’t think I have a full understanding and thinks
one day I’ll need and want to process it with a grown up
when and if I am ready but she wouldn’t explain the things
she felt I didn’t understand. I promised I would do that as
soon as she left and so I know I must do it before she gets
back for lights out. I’m not sure how to do this but I’ll do
my best and if I did it wrong I’m sure she’ll say something

[REDACTED]

{Page 57 - EFTA02731316}
July 7, 2012
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
How in the hell am I suppose [sic] to have “radical acceptance”
of these things? It’s a horror story that I survived. Why was
I allowed to survive? Am I a monster? I wish Miss Erin would
hurry up and come back because I don’t know how to radically
accept the unacceptable. I don’t know if Ghislaine should be in
there. [REDACTED] and Miss Erin thinks so, Carrie thinks so but
what am I missing? Why won’t Miss Erin say? I’m going to
ask as soon as she returns. I don’t want to radically accept, I
want to know why. What could possibly learn from this?
A priest! I planned that out so well. He couldn’t talk or tell.
He is supposed to be good. Why? I need to go find Miss Erin
and ask for medication <3<3<3

{Page 59 - EFTA02731318}
July 8, 2012
I have been so messed up but everyone has been doing
everything possible to cheer me up. [REDACTED] is gone. So many
people being discharged and I don’t want to leave any
time soon. I don’t feel ready. I mean I do with eating, I
won’t put my recovery in danger but I can’t radically
accept. Jon and Miss Erin assured me they’d find a team
back home to help me but do I even deserve help unraveling
all of that? I feel so stressed out and overwhelmed and I
have so many questions. No one is safe outside of here so how
will I ever understand if I have to keep the promise. Miss
Erin said that was a bad promise but it’s all so confusing
I don’t think I will write more. I think I’ve fulfilled the
assignment and won’t have time once I return home and
have to go back to school, work and having the boys. The
rest of my time I want to spend with all the amazing
people here, both staff and patients who I will miss beyond
words. I’ve learned so much here and I will forever be
grateful. My last goal is to be able to have Miss Erin come to VA
to be my counselor! Well, I can only hope. I know this seems
sad but I’m actually hopeful. I do have hope. I’ve learned
SOME grown ups are safe, good, and moral, but you have to
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]


–
Notes from staff & other patients

{Page 4 - EFTA02731263}
Dear [REDACTED],
If you could climb into my skin
+ see yourself thru my eyes, you
would never again doubt your beauty,
your worth or whether or not you are
lovable.
Since you can not take this climb
I’ll be right here - <3 in your heart to help
you remember who you really are.

With all of my heart. I wish
you love + joy
[REDACTED]
Home [REDACTED]
Cell [REDACTED]

{Page 6 - EFTA02731265}
[REDACTED],
It’s been a pleasure getting
to know you and for the
opportunity to work with you.
I wish great success and
opportunity for you on your
continued road through
recovery. You deserve happiness
and laughter, because you provide
that to those around you!

All the best,
[REDACTED]
counselor [REDACTED]

{Page 8 - EFTA02731267}
[REDACTED]
I am very sad having to say goodbye.
You will be missed, but hopefully you are
moving on to a rich and fulfilling life with
your beautiful boys. Whenever you need a reminder
remember that you are kind, wonderfully made,
and special. Always remember the big picture
in life and the things in life you value. Run
after you [sic] values because it will always
lead to a more meaningful life.

Sincerely,
[REDACTED]

{Page 10 - EFTA02731269}
7/18/12
[REDACTED] -
you have done fabulous
work & I wish you only
health & happiness. Remember
to make meals simple &
meet exchanges. I know
you can do this. Just look
at the little chipmunk I
gave you & think of me!
[REDACTED]

{Page 11 - EFTA02731270}
[REDACTED]
You are a strong, beautiful, smart woman.
I love you so much. I’m so happy I got to know
you <3 best roomie ever.

You are such a strong person! Your personality
is so beautiful and seeing you smile makes my day

You are so friendly and so sweet and to see
you smile is amazing

cutest girl ever, so nice and love the hair!

You are the most beautiful and special girl
I have met. Belive [sic] in yourself like I and
so many believe in you <3

Your heart is one of the
kindest I’ve ever known. It
makes you 10x more beautiful
than you physically already
are

Such a
beautiful, kind
person + a
loving mother!

You have the biggest HEART
believe in yourself <3

I honestly just love you
so much. You’re so
sweet and always
have a funny story to
tell :)

{Page 12 - EFTA02731271}
[REDACTED]
You are amazing! I know that you are going to do great.
I’ll miss you so much and I will miss your wonderful
smile & your presence in this place! You’re a
strong & beautiful person! I’ll always remember
you! and I hope you [sic] the best luck and you
have to FIND ME ON FACEBOOK! and I’ll talk
to you and if you need something I’m
always here for you and you can call or
write me whenever you want! I’ll miss
you so much! Please keep in touch! I <3 you :)

[REDACTED]

My hotmail is: [REDACTED]
My Facebook email is [REDACTED]
& I’m on Facebook like: [REDACTED]

{Page 13 - EFTA02731272}
{A greeting card with two houses. An arrow pointing to the left house says “you” and an arrow pointing to the right house says “me”}
in my imaginary
neighborhood
you live right
next door…

{Page 14 - EFTA02731273}
[REDACTED]
you are an amazing person! I am so
glad that I got to know you. You are so
kind and sweet and full of love and
compassion. I will miss you very much!
I am so proud of you. You are strong and
capable of anything. I’m so excited for you
and so happy you’ll see your babies soon.
Keep in touch! I will never forget you.
You have touched my heart and I will
carry you in my heart always. Stay strong!

All my love <3
[REDACTED]
contact info:
[REDACTED]

I’m on facebook :) [REDACTED] May bday [REDACTED]

{Page 16 - EFTA02731275}
Dear [REDACTED]
I’m sad to see you leave…you brighten my days and always make
me smile. Perhaps, yes, I don’t know you super well (I so wish I did),
but I feel as though we’re close because of the warmth and
lightness I feel when you’re near. Thanks for your support and
gorgeous smiles. Stay strong and never change - you’re sweet, beautiful
(inside & out), kindhearted, down-to-earth…my list could go on and
on. But what I meant to say is I feel you are all the things I wish to be.
I so admire you. Take care - you deserve beauty and love in your life.
You deserve recovery. Love always,
[REDACTED]
Please keep in touch?! - [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
call/email/FB me anytime if you need ANYTHING at all - no matter how
many days, months, decades may have passed - or just to say “hi” :)
<3 [REDACTED]

{Page 18 - EFTA02731277}
July 18, 2012
Beautiful [REDACTED]

I admire your determination
& strong willingness. You worked
so hard for the past 2-3
months I’ve known you.
You deserve recovery, you
deserve happiness, you deserve
your life. I love you so much!
I’m so excited for you to be
back home with your kids!
Never think you’re not a “good”
mom, because you are!
When you go back to the
real world, remember of all
the hard work you’ve done!

I love you babygirl!
love, [REDACTED] <3

FB: [REDACTED]
Phone #: [REDACTED]
email: [REDACTED]
address: [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
STAY STRONG

{Page 19 - EFTA02731278}
I’m not a very good artist but just something
to make you smile.
{Drawing of two stick figures wearing tutus}
Best friends
Forever <3

{Page 20 - EFTA02731279}
[REDACTED]
You are such an amazing person.
I LOVE your happiness. Seeing you every morning
just brightens my day. And as I got to know
you, I got to see your humor, honesty, and
devotion. You try so hard when you set your
mind to something (like getting off therapy
restriction) and I admire that. Thank you
for sharing your kindness. I hope you have
wonderful birthdays outside of here, because
you deserve it. Your sons are growing up with
an awesome and loving mom. I really
appreciate you telling me about you [REDACTED]
and symptoms you have because of it. Stay
strong, beautiful. And keep shining! (:
Love,
[REDACTED]

facebook: [REDACTED]
email: [REDACTED]

{Page 22 - EFTA02731281}
[REDACTED],
Wish you the best on your road to
recovery. When you leave [REDACTED] I don’t
want you to look at it as a sad moment,
but a chance to choose yourself and health
to make sure you are well for your beautiful
boys. I will miss you and I want to
wish to the best.

<3
[REDACTED]

{Page 24 - EFTA02731283}
[REDACTED],

I have learned so much from you. You
are so smart & talented, and I will
never forget you. Every time I see
something Hello Kitty, I will smile &
remember all of your Hello Kitty
stickers, coloring pages, etc. Please take
care of yourself, not only for
yourself but for your boys too.
They need their mother! Remember
what I’ve told you - you could
make an amazing healthy role model.
You’ve learned the coping skills and the
information, and now it’s up to you.
It is always your choice in recovery,
and there is ALWAYS a choice. It is
never too late for the path to recovery.
Remember I won’t give up on
you, so NEVER give up on yourself.
You deserve recovery & a happy, healthy
life. Let your smile shine, because
it’s beautiful :)

[REDACTED]

{Page 26 - EFTA02731285}
Dear [REDACTED],

I feel blessed to have had to opportunity
to meet you. I am so happy that you were
apart of my stay at “[REDACTED]” Not
only have you brought light heartedness, joy
and laughter to me but you have also
shown me what motivation and success
looks like as well. You are so sweet and
kind and I admire your happiness
and pureness you hold in your heart. Thank you
for giving me laughter when I wanted to
cry and joy when I was angry or sad. You
made my stay here much more easy. Also
I also look at your motivation & success.
When I first started, especially in the staff
dining room, you helped me be motivated
and shown me what success looks like.
I am so happy for you and know you
have so much strength to continue your
new way of living at home for you and
for [REDACTED]. They are so lucky to have you
for their mother. I have learned from you
not to take life so serious, share with
others, and it’s ok to laugh even when times are
tough. Thank you for being apart [sic] of my recovery.
I will take a piece of you with me.
[REDACTED]

{Page 28 - EFTA02731287}
Dear [REDACTED]
You are so amazing and have [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]. Your heart is so
big and I just love your smile.
Thanks for being my roomie for a
few days, sure was fun. Remember
that you are strong and able to
withstand a lot. Have faith in
yourself and you will do amazing
things. Please keep in touch and
thanks again for opening up to me.
Much love,
[REDACTED]

BE WELL!

{Page 30 - EFTA02731289}
[REDACTED], <3
Good gracious, I don’t even know
where to start. I think honestly that you
are one of the most beautiful people
I’ve ever met in my life. You’re so
loving, and so genuine. Everything about
you is stunning. Seeing your smile is
the hilight [sic] of my days around here. I
think your strength is never ending
as well. I don’t know your story, but
I know what ever [sic] it may be that
you went through wasn’t easy, and just
knowing that you made it to this
very day alone, shows how friggin’
strong you are. Not to mention, we’re
both blonde & Buddhist :) That’s pretty
awesome if you ask me! Just know
that whatever your [sic] doing, whatever
is wrong, however you’re feeling, or
if you just want to tell me something
funny, CALL/TEXT/FACEBOOK me at any
time. I do not want to lose contact
with you. You’re so special to me.
I adore you [REDACTED]. <3

Love, [REDACTED]

[REDACTED](Facebook)
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Use any/all that you desire. :)

{Page 32 - EFTA02731291}
7/16/2012
[REDACTED]
This is [REDACTED] the girl you said had pretty hair and
eyes. You have a beautiful soul and a gracious heart. I haven’t known
you long but I can tell you are intelligent.

I hope you recover well and take care of your babies! I hope
one day I can have some! I know you make an excellent mother and are
a genuine person and you have made such an impact on my life!

I love you so much and wish you the best! :) <3

Facebook: [REDACTED]
Address if you want to send a letter: [REDACTED]

Take care and stay strong.
<3 [REDACTED]

{Page 34 - EFTA02731293}
[REDACTED]
I’m going to miss you so much girl!
You are strong and you got this <3
[REDACTED] Facebook
[REDACTED]

{Page 36 - EFTA02731295}
Contact information:
[REDACTED]

Thanks for the most
awesome ORANGE pen!
I <3 orange!!

[REDACTED]
Wow! You are such an amazing person! I’m so happy, that I had the
pleasure of getting to know you! [REDACTED] remember that you are a very
strong, genuine, intelligent young lady! Keep up all the very hard
work! Remember, God LOVES you and so do I. Keep in touch &
take care! You can search for me on Facebook by my first & last name
as shown above!

Love always,
[REDACTED]

{Page 39 - EFTA02731298}
[REDACTED] =),
You are such a strong, beautiful person.
You are an inspiration to me and I feel so very fortun
ate to have met you. As you continue on your
journey through recovery I wish you the very
best. Although I haven’t known you long, I
want you to know that you have made a
difference in my life and I won’t ever forget
you and your courage.

Your friend
[REDACTED]

{Page 41 - EFTA02731301}
Hey [REDACTED]!
It was a great pleasure to have you here at
[REDACTED] I hope when you leave here, you’ll be
able to stay focus and healthy priortize and keep
your eyes on what’s important like your kids.
Stay positive and remember that you are beautiful
and worth it!!! When life gets rough, find positive
things that will help you bounce back!! Don’t let
me see you here again, unless it’s for a reunion…LOL
or on the street!

[REDACTED]

{Page 44 - EFTA02731303}
[REDACTED]
I wish you a long and healthy recovery. Remember
all the great tools you have learned here, and don’t
forget to use them!! Thank you for teaching me so much
about [REDACTED], I will try my hardest to keep learning.
Be strong and stay focused!!
All the best!
G

{Page 48 - EFTA02731307}
[REDACTED]! Beautiful [REDACTED] you are one remarkable
human bein. [sic] I have never met anyone with as much
love and compashion [sic] as you. When you smile it not
only makes my day, but fills my heart. Your
compasity [sic] to learn and take in the knowledge
your experiences that you have bein threw [sic] are
what make you who you are today. You are
a strong inspiring woman that gives me
more & more hope to succeed in whatever
I put my heart to. Just getting to know
you, as a person and what you have
gone threw reasures [sic] me to strive for
whatever I will put my heart to. As you
can see I’v [sic] changed colors :) HeHe
anywase [sic] I just want to say you
mean so much to me and I truley [sic]
believe you will succeed in whatever
life brings you. I love you inside and
out. xoxoxo yours truly
[REDACTED]

{Page 50 - EFTA02731309}
My beautiful [REDACTED],

I’ll never be able to find the words to express how
much you mean to me. I feel like I’ve known you
for years and years - you’re my sister, my
best friend. I don’t ever want you out of
my life and I will do everything in my power
to ensure that won’t happen.
You are such a beautiful person in every way
and I will miss you more than you know.
You are so much stronger than you give
yourself credit for, my darling, and you
can overcome your struggles if you put in
the effort.
I’m so excited to become a part of your
life - to visit you in [REDACTED] to meet your
kids, to have Disney adventures. This is just
the beginning of a strong and lasting
friendship.
I love you, always and always.

<3 [REDACTED]

{Page 52 - EFTA02731311}
[REDACTED]
I’m going to miss you so much you truly
made this 5 weeks go fast for me. Love it how
your [sic] always so happy + don’t for get [sic] you always
put a smile on my face, I don’t want you to
lose home. Just remember how far you have come
from my first week. I was here when you were
in the staff dining room till now on your
birthday + your [sic] out eating with everyone
else. Don’t give up faith I know you can
do it. Just think of your boys so
Happy claps for you

- [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Facebook

{Page 53 - EFTA02731312}
[REDACTED]
I just want to tell
you…I love you!
Best friends forever!
[REDACTED]

{Page 54 - EFTA02731313}
[REDACTED]
Wow! being here with you at
[REDACTED] has been an awesome
journey. You are such a sweet
woman and I admire your
fun personality and great
sense of humor. Being suite
mates with you was such a
joy. Thank you for teaching
me to speak gibberish, I love
it =) Also, thank you for
being such a positive
role model and ray of
sunshine. You are amazing
and will accomplish great things.
Stay strong and fight through
to the end. You rock!

Love,
[REDACTED]

{Page 56 - EFTA02731315}
[REDACTED]

Don’t ever give up! You are so much stronger
than you think you are. Whenever you
are upset and don’t feel like you can
talk to someone, remember what I
would tell you! Remember to hold on
to one of your stuffed animals, like
your bear, color a picture, work
on your journal, listen to music, or
even write a note to me expressing
all of your feelings. You are a
beautiful person both inside and
out. Let your smile shine, but
don’t ever feel like you have to
pretend everything is ok. You have
a great support system around
you. And don’t be afraid to trust
other staff members; sometimes
they’ll surprise you! I will see you
soon, before you know it. Have an
absolutely wonderful birthday!!! :)

[REDACTED]

{Page 58 - EFTA02731317}
Dearest [REDACTED]
It’s hard to even know where to begin! You are such a kind,
caring person, and I am so grateful to be your friend!
You are so positive and you always make me smile!
I am so amazed by how strong you have been throughout
this process. You handled even some of the most
alarming circumstances SO incredibly well! I am truly proud
of how hard you work every day and how determined
you have been since day one. I hope that one
day you can see how WONDERFUL you are. I absolutely
adore you, and know your boys are lucky to have
such an amazing mom. I know the journey hasn’t
be [sic] easy thus far, but I have so much hope for
your future! We are learning how to let go of
self-destruction and find the freedom to LIVE. And
that is my prayer for you, that you will truly know
how WORTHY, VALUED, LOVED & TREASURED you are.
You are a gift to this world, my friend, you must
start believing that to be true. I love you dearly, and
hope we will continue to remain friends & be there for
each other outside of [REDACTED] because our goodbyes from
here are NOT an end…rather they are just the beginning of
the rest of our lives. Please be good to yourself. I care about
you too much to watch you/let you continue to hurt yourself.
It’s time you start giving yourself the same care you
so graciously give to others.
With love,
<3 [REDACTED]

{Page 61 - EFTA02731320}
My amazing [REDACTED],
You have touched my life in
so many ways. You never cease
to amaze me! You are the sweetest,
smartest, most intelligent, and
most beautiful [REDACTED] girl (woman)
I have EVER met. You have such a
passion for life that inspires
me each and everyday. [sic] I can’t
help but smile when I see you
and when I’m with you because
you make me so happy. I feel
so blessed and lucky to have
met you, you are so dear to my
heart and truly are an angel
in my life! I believe in you with
ALL my HEART and I know you
can do this. I hope & pray we will
always keep in touch. Please promise
me that you will always keep
fighting and NEVER EVER give up.
I will always be here for you NO
MATTER WHAT. I love and adore
you so very much!
<3 always, [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Emory, TX 75440
Cell # [REDACTED]
email [REDACTED]@aol.com

{Page 62 - EFTA02731321}
[REDACTED]
Words cannot express how much you have touched my life. You
are absolutely beautiful inside and out. It hurts my heart when you
tell me stories of things that have happened to you in the past. Please
know that I find you to be incredibly bright and articulate. You are
truly an amazing person. I really hope we can stay in touch one [sic]
I leave. Try to keep in mind that your past, while it is a part of
you; it is not YOU. You have the ability to do anything. I
believe you will change the lives of so many people. I’m glad
we got to be roommates, even thought it was just for a couple
of nights. I’m sad I’ll miss your birthday, but I will be
thinking about you all day and your rainbow dress =) You
make me smile even just thinking about you! You are
my sunshine, and I’ll never forget the kindness and love
you’ve shown me. Thank you.
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]

{Page 64 - EFTA02731323}
[REDACTED]
You are so beautiful. I admire your strength,
courage and dedication. You are truly an inspiration to
me. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
You deserve the best life has to offer. I am so proud
of you :) I feel so lucky to have met you and
you will always hold a special place in my heart <3
Never give you [sic] and reach for the stars.
With love,
[REDACTED]
Facebook: [REDACTED] cell: [REDACTED]
email: [REDACTED] address: [REDACTED]
Charlotte, NC 28210
May love + laughter light your days
and warm your heart + home.
May good + faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace + plenty bless your world
with god that long endures
May all life’s passing seasons bring
the best to you + yours!

{Page 67 - EFTA02731326}
[REDACTED]
Ur the sweetest person
I ever met you are so cute
+ I love your pink
hair + accessories you are
absolutely adorable. I’m
so glad I met you + that
you liked my Hello Kitty +
giraffe picture + I know
you weren’t laughing at me
in group, [REDACTED] farts are
funny LOL
[REDACTED]
email: [REDACTED]
cell: [REDACTED]

{Page 68 - EFTA02731327}
[REDACTED] I wrote
k because
matches the pretty
in your hair. I really
I chose a late time to get to know you because I have to leave soon, but
at least we have a week left! I don’t know much about your past but I
know we’ve been in similar situations. I want to help you so you can stop
hurting yourself because I know how deep your pain runs. I struggle with
similar issues but together we can overcome them. You are such a
beautiful woman! Don’t you ever forget that and don’t ever
let anyone tell you otherwise. I’m always
here if you need to talk =)
I <3 YOOOUUU!!!
<3 always,
[REDACTED]

{Page 69 - EFTA02731328}
[REDACTED] You are so beautiful! I hope
you realize that every single day.
I have so much faith in you because
you have so much you can give to
this world, and to your family! You’re
so smart, and such a sweetheart and
I hope for nothing but the best
for you! Please keep going strong <3
[REDACTED]
Find me on Facebook!

{Page 71 - EFTA02731330}
Dear Miss [REDACTED]
Thank you so much for all your words
and for teaching me how to work
with someone [REDACTED] I have
had a truly wonderful time getting to
know you. I hope you learn to see the
beauty within yourself, for you are an
absolutely lovely person inside and out.
I hope you continue working to keep
yourself safe and healthy. I know you
have the strength to grow, you only
need to let yourself blossom. I will
remember you forever, until I am 103
(and maybe even a little longer after
that).
Sincerest wishes for a Beautiful future,
[REDACTED]

{Page 72 - EFTA02731331}
Princess [REDACTED]
I think you are awesome.
[REDACTED]
<3 ya

{Page 73 - EFTA02731332}
Dear [REDACTED]

I don’t even know where to start!
I love you so much and I love listing [sic]
to your wonderful storries [sic]. You are just
a really enjoyable person to be around,
whenever I’m sad I just go and
talk to you and you make me smile =)
I love hearing about your boys they seem
so cool just like their momma <3 I
love coloring with you to! [sic] And I
love how much you love Hello Kitty!
You are so sweet and kind and
I love you!
Love,
[REDACTED][/b] <3

{Page 74 - EFTA02731333}
“Sometimes you hate the things that are
happening to you, when actually, God
is adding to them lots of blessings
and good that are beyond your
perception and imagination.”
<3 you!
You are a shinning [sic] star!

{Page 75 - EFTA02731334}
[REDACTED]
Hi pretty lady!

I just want to tell you how wonderfully special
you are to me. You have made my day so many times
without even trying. You are so beautiful, caring,
lively, sweet, and lovely. You radiate happyness [sic].
I know you have been struggeling, [sic] but you have
done wonderfully in treatment. Know that I always
and forever here for you no matter what. Keep
up the good job you have portrayed.
I love you so very much.

xoxo,
[REDACTED]

Facebook - [REDACTED]
email - [REDACTED]
# - [REDACTED]

{Page 77 - EFTA02731336}
[REDACTED]
You are so special and I am so glad I got to
know you. Although it may be difficult
at times to go through recover…it is
something that will make us stronger. You
will win this battle. Never give up!
[REDACTED] need you very much. Keep
up the good work. Good luck with everything.

Lov ya lots,
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]

{Page 78 - EFTA02731337}
[REDACTED] my love,
I love you so unbelievably much!
You’ve brightened my days so much.
I always enjoy talking to you and
hearing about your sons. You’re so smart
and strong. Keep pushing through, love.
I know you can do this. Keep that
beautiful smile on your face, babe.
You’re seriously so cute and I love
your obsession with Hello Kitty.
I would really love to see you outside
of here. Please keep in touch and
text me once you get out of here!
Love
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Sebastian FL 32958
I love you
[REDACTED]

{Page 79 - EFTA02731338}
June 1, 2012
[REDACTED],
I want you to know how special
and beautiful you are to me. Every day
seeing you smile puts a smile on my
face. I’m so blessed to have gotten the
chance to get to know you and get the
chance to become close to you.
You are a beautiful person inside and
out. I love you so much. Always love yourself
and always believe in yourself. You
deserve it.
Let’s make a promise to one another
to always keep in touch.

Facebook: [REDACTED]
address: [REDACTED]
Weston, FL 33327
#: [REDACTED]
<3 always, [REDACTED]

{Page 80 - EFTA02731339}
[REDACTED]
I want you to always remember what a very
special person you are. No matter what anybody
has told you in the past or will tell you in the
future, you are beautiful, smart, funny, caring,
and have an absolutely amazing spirit! I want
to thank you because I have truly learned so much
from you not only about autism but also about
really connecting with someone. Also, you have
given me the most beautiful piece of art ever.
It really means so much to me [REDACTED] because
it represents my work and makes me feel like
I have made an impact on someone’s life,
which means more to me than I can even
describe. I can’t wait to see it in the calendar!
I don’t want you to give up [REDACTED]! You deserve
to live a wonderful, happy life with your adorable
little boys and they deserve an amazing and
healthy mom to always be there for them!
Be good! Take care of yourself! And no more owies! =)
I don’t want to have to worry about you!
<3 Miss Erin

“Stand tall, stand proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.”
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie



https://www.justice.gov/epstein/files/D ... 731260.pdf